I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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