She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
