You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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