i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
