my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
