SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
