hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
