You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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