If i come over, it means nothing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Randomize
