walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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