I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
