heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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