i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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