I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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