if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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