god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
