He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
