idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
