but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
