I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
