Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
