they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
