Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
