I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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