I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
