You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
