We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
