2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
