On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
