my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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