Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
