ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
only you would photoshop your dick
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
