talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize