No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Don't tell me you're on acid again
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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