before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
