More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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