If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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