They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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