Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
