He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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