We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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