Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
