You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
