i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
