id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
