she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
