I look better un-naked...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
