...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i need some magic done to my vagina
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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