He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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