just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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