Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
